I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
