This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize