Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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