I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize