my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
