We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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