my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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