Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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