What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
there was a trapeze. enough said
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
