ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
