If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
