I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
