so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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