pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
