I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
