You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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