i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
