watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
