just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
