i think i have herpe
just one?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
