no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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