i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
