Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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