i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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