I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
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tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
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we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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