I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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