I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
