my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
