In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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