reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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