i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
