I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
