Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
