goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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