You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
