I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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