Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
