worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Im just a social blackout drinker.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize