Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
