Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize