we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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