maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
