I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
