you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
