I think I have vodka in my lungs
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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