the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
