I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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