he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize