I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
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