he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
