Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize