We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
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