Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i will never coherently bang her
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
