whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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