I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
