How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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