Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I would fuck him just for his dog
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