I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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