wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize