yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
