Dual....:-)
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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