Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
