He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
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Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
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Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
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She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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